Personal Caregiving Advice
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Help Your Elderly Parent/Family

Hello, Caregivers!  Welcome to the first edition of Ask the Expert which is designed to give you the opportunity to ask me any questions you have about your elderly parent or chronically ill middle aged adult child.

Each month we will answer one or two of your questions, offering you useful and practical tips to help you resolve some of the critical issues you are currently facing.

This first column will address caregiver stress and burnout and what you could do to better manage your situation.

Dealing with Caregiver
Stress & Burnout

All of us feel stress everyday in our lives, managing our personal and professional lives.  But for caregivers responsible for caring for an elderly parent or family member, in addition to managing our own personal life and career, can truly be one of life’s most difficult challenges and may seem overwhelming at times.

Let’s identify some warning signs that may indicate you are on caregiver overload and possibly approaching burnout.  These include, but may not be limited to the following:

• insomnia or frequent trouble sleeping

• headaches that won’t go away

• mood swings

• feelings of depression or despair

• inability to concentrate

• restlessness

• stomach/digestive, gastrointestinal distress without any physical cause

• palpitations or chest pains with undue cause

• grinding your teeth

These may indicate the need to reach out for support and assistance.

• Get regular check-ups.  Even if you are feeling well, a check-up by your physician is still the best way to ward off any problems or fix them if they need fixing.  If you don’t have a family doctor, find one now!  It’s never too late.
• Get 6-8 hours of sleep. If you have trouble sleeping at night, try to nap during the day. Discuss frequent insomnia with your doctor.

• Eat nutritious meals.  Avoid alcohol, lots of sweets and try to eat a balanced meal (one that includes the four food groups, protein, grains, fruits and vegetables) every day.

• Exercise regularly.  Take a class, walk for 20 minutes every day or get a personal trainer…whatever works for you. There are exercises you can even do at your desk while working. Do some research and find out what’s right for you.

• Establish and maintain good friendships. Keep a balance in your life.  Find friends to hang out with or go to dinner with after work.  Having a good social life gives you a break and helps divert your attention to something other than focusing on and emphasizing your caregiving problems 24/7. It will also help you relax.

• Ask for help.  Create a “to do” list of the tasks for family, relatives and friends to do.  Believe it or not, you’ll find that those close to you truly want to help, and are looking for specific suggestions how to best do so.

• Research community resources.   These could include meals-on-wheels services or your county aging society which may be able to send volunteers to assist your elderly parent at home.

• Hire professional help.  A geriatric care manager can lift a tremendous burden from your shoulders including recommending strategies to care for or make visits to your elderly mom and dad when you can’t be there.  The best geriatric care managers serve as advocates for your parent’s rights and will ensure that their care is monitored and supervised properly.

• Plan time for yourself. Be good to yourself. Continue enjoying your hobbies, reading, going to concerts or whatever activities you like to keep you relaxed and distract you from your troubles.

If you are upset or troubled about a particular issue please write me here and let me try to help. I won’t be able to answer every question but will try my best to answer the most common concerns.  Or if you just want to express your feelings, share frustrations or tips, please check out AGC’s Online Discussion Group for Caregivers.  You may find that others have had the same experience as you and can offer tested solutions that worked for them.

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